night

hi there...back again in the middle of the night, I'm still can't sleep right now. my mind still in his journey. at least there a huge problem which is so disturbing me right now. ( this time maybe I'm to childish... )

it's all about my feeling to someone far away, I don't know what kind of feeling that I feel right now, it's so complicated to explained it one by one...but i'll try to sharing it, as good as I feels. a view times a go there was a girl whom came from nowhere...from that moment we've been got closer enough till someday she had gone. at that moment I don't feel anything..till one day I'm realize that I'm missed her so much...it takes short times ( about 3 months ) she came again to my life, but on this moment is very special and this moment won't be forgotten from me. it is because she come back right when I'm celebrated my birthday, soon after that moment I felt that I've got the most valuable present...unfortunately our relations doesn't come easy, at least in the last view times...she starting get busy with her own thing and I feel there is not enough times for me again. what makes me so down now is, I know that sometimes she get a view times to repply my messages but she didn't do that, it likes she forget me a little by a little...she is begin to enjoy with her new buddies outside. may it was my false to get higher hope about her and get jealosy about this situation ( but I still can handle it, I don't know what I'm suppose to do right now because I'm feel that I'm no who I am..and it's just my first time to get kind of feel like this) this situation give a lot of change on me...

p.s I know that she was knew about my feeling to her from 3 months a go, even I'm not told her before..


but on the otherwise, I realize when we are really love to someone else we will wait and be patient enough...to her, we will still give our heart and care even there are no repply from her/his. because love it self is not only being one someday, if we can't love her/his we can still happy enough because of the moment that we've been shared together and it is will last forever than our status itself...

from here i've learned something which is " love is a feeling but being one is desicion ( keputusan maksudnya..hehehehe...)sorry klo salah nulis, kata ni yang selalu aku lupa...


so from now I feels that God is being good for me, because he learns me a new thing...


oya , tadi aku lihat banyak nya kesenjangan di antara kita sesama manusia....I feel pitty about that, why we can being as one as a brother? why there is a GAP upon us?

so forthat I make a poetry to my brother outside...

"Kepada yang tersingkir"



kami bukan debu
meski dimatamu begitu
darah kucur dari luka
belum benar kering sewaktu rebah

kami yang terbaring
kumpulan tulang belulang
sebuah mahkluk tersingkir
dari dunia luar

segala tinggi
hingga tak dapat menggenggam
berpulang selama ini
hilang bersama malam


hope this poetry will inspiring you about how meaningful they are as our brother too