Signs of love

* are ur palms sweaty, is ur heart racing n is ur voice caught within ur chase?
it isn't love, it's LIKE.
* you can't keep ur eyes or hands off of her/him?
it isn't love, it's LUST.
* are u proud, n eager to show her/him off?
it isn't love, it's LUCK.
* do u want her bcause u know she's/he's there?
it isn't love, it's LONELINESS.
* r u with her/him bcause it's what everyone wants?
it isn't love, it's LOYALTY.
* r u with her bcause she/he kissed u, or held ur hand?
it isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.
* Do u stay for her/him confessions of love, bcause u dom't want to hurt her/him?
it isn't love, it's PITY.
* Do u belong to her/him bcause the sight of her/him makes ur heart skip a beat?
it isn't love, it's INFATUATION.
* Do u pardon her faults bcause u care about her/him?
it isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.
* do u tell her/him everyday she's the only one you think of?
it's not love, it's a LIE.
* are u willing to give up all of ut fav things for her sake?
it isn't love, it's CHARITY.


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* Doed ur heart ache n break when he's sad?
then it's LOVE.
* Do u cry for her/his pain, even when she's/he's strong?
then it's LOVE.
* do her/his eyes see ur true heart, n touch ur soul so deeply it hurts?
then it's LOVE.
* do u stay bcause a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain n relation pulls u close n holds u to her/him?
then it's LOVE.
* do u accept her/his faults bcause it's a part of who she/he is?
then it's LOVE.
* are u attracted to others, but stay with her/him faithfully without regret?
then it's LOVE.
* would you give her/him ur heart, ur life, ur death?
then it's LOVE.
now, if love is so painful, n tortures us so, why do we love?
why is it all we search for in life?
this pain, this agony?
why is it all we long for?
this torture, this powerful death of self?
why???
the answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE..
it is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it n share it with others as well.

Life and death

Kemarin aku melihat dan sadar bahwa bagi beberapa pihak kematian begitu "menakutkan". Aku sampai saat ini masih tidak mengerti, apa yang menakutkan dari sebuah kematian?. Bukankah kematian itu terasa begitu agung, sunyi dan indah. Kenapa kita tidak menyambutnya dengan sedikit tawa dan canda. Sampai suatu ketika aku menyadari, bahwa yang kita takutkan bukanlah kematian itu. Namun, tujuan yang belum kita capai. Sehingga terkadang kita ingin tinggal lebih lama untuk menyelesaikannya.




Lalu, timbul suatu pertanyaan di dalam diriku. Apakah yang sebenarnya kita cari dan kejar dalam hidup ini, apakah arti atau tujuan? Dan apakah beda antara awal dan akhir, bukankah keduanya sama saja..

PANCASILA

Rabu tgl 20, pk. 16.00. Kuliah baru dimulai, saat itu adalah jam pelajaran Pancasila..awal masuk aku di kagetkan dengan jumlah murid untuk kelas ini yang mencapai 63...dalam sejarah, baru kali ini aku berada di kelas dengan peserta sebanyak ini. Biasanya maksimal cuma berkisar 20-25 saja..hebat2 kelas benar-benar bikin hidup dan aku pikir awalnya bakal tidak begitu membosankan. Namun semua itu segera berubah sampai sang dosen datang dan membagi pokok tugas bahasan selama satu semester, di mana kami di bagi menjadi kelompok dan ditugasi untuk menerangkan sub. Pelajaran Pancasila...

Dosen itu menerangkan dan mengulang-ulang sampai 2 jam. Dan itu menjadi 2 jam paling luama yang pernah aku alami. Dan selama 2 jam itu, semua orang sibuk dengan urusa masing-masing. Ada yang ngerumpi, tidur, dll..dan aku browsing internet...

Guitar and lesson

Pk. 02.00, dan aku masi terjaga dari tidurku. Yup, aku masi browsing internet buat cari informasi tentang gitar.


Ya, tiba-tiba aku ingin banget belajar memainkan gitar. Namun, karena aku buta tentang dunia gitar. Jadi, aku mulai cari tau sebanyak mungkin informasi tentang gitar. Dan pendek kata, aku mendapatkan segala info. Dari jenis-jenis gitar,bahan-bahan, perbedaan antar seri dan merk, harga, perawatan, pengaruh bahan, pemakaian, pembelajaran, dan karena keputusanku buat mulai dari gitar akustik. Maka aku mencari dengan lebih spesifik, akupun berhasil menemukan 1 merk kenamaan, yaitu: "yamaha" yang menurut aku range harga yang dia tawarkan masih rada masuk akal..berkisar Rp. 350.000- 1jt lebih. Namun, harga ini masih terbilang lebih murah di banding merk seperti fender,gibson, ibanez, dll..( bagi aku harga haruz masuk akal, karena sebagai pemula dan yang cuma buat hobi tanpa berpikir jadi profesional atau mendalami banget, so price was so influenced )..akhirnya aku mendapat 10 seri gitar akustik terbaik dengan review dari bahan, keawetan, sound reduce mpe kisaran harga..


So thankfull buat yang dah ciptain internet, google, jaringan internet dan para pembuat web. Tanpa tu semua, ini semua tidak bakal terwujud.



Btw, a view times a go aku dapat banyak advice dari film "dark knight"...terutama kata-kata di salah satu film itu " kadang di butuhkan malam yang menjadi semakin gelap sebelum fajar yang terang datang". Di sini memberi aku keteguhan dalam menjalani jalan untuk mencapai sebuah harapan. Dimana jalan itu tidak selalu mudah dan menjadi lebih mudah, namun bisa saja jalan itu makin jauh, menghilang, sulit dan menyakitkan. Namun, di ujung tetap berdiri apa yang kita ingin raih. Selama kita yakin bahwa kita bisa, tidak peduli akan suatu ketika yang harus kita lalui maka kita akan mendapatkannya.


Dan aku dapat 1 pelajaran penting dari semua bahwa film itu mencoba berkata " a hero is not being a hero at the very first time and in the end of it. But he/she is being a hero in the middle of the times"




"God always listening us and talking to us by so many things surround"

L.o.v.e

This page I'm dedicating to someone far away...



It's been so many times we've spent together. Even there is a time that we've lose our contact. But untill the times we met again. You've gave me so many great meaningfull times. And my feeling for you was growth unrealized..from the 2nd times we've been met, I was realized that I can't lose you twice and I can't handle my self for trying to be care enough for you, always thinking when is your next message comes, always makes sure that you'll gonna be alright, always taking some worry 'bout you in this life, never be bored to read your message again and again,
always wait and mizz your email. And talking 'bout email, it has made our relation being so meaningfull for me. I remember, for the last times which is I tried to get your phone number and you always refused it because it has been your promises to yourself that you are gonna tell anybody 'bout your number when you are never meet each other..from it I can catch that you are a principle girl, and it makes me like you more. And from those time I've learned how to be patience.





Time by time was gone and now I'm really don't know what kind of feeling that I've felt for you. It's kinda sweet but sometimes it hurt me enough and drive me crazy..maybe it's all so wrong to have some feeling like this because we've never met each other and we are separate to far each other..and maybe there are so many people think that what I'm talking is just some rubbish. Maybe they'll call me crazy and don't believe it at all. But truly deeply from my heart what I've been told was the truth from my self. This is what I'm feel right now, I do confuse why it can be like this. Honestly it sound so wierd to listen.



In the otherwise I wanna thank you, 'cause you've been showed me how to be patience, you cheer up my days, you don't bother me and always be there to listened me, always accept me warmly, told me when I was wrong, pull me when I'm down..




Thanks..even it's almost impossible for us being one. But i've been lucky to knew you and have you here as part of my life..whatever you are...it doesn't really matter for me. You is you, the one who not complete at all but these thing which makes you special...




Thanks for showing me what love is suppose to be..